


Darkness

by dolphins



Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: Angst, Hurt, M/M, Siren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2014-08-10
Packaged: 2018-02-12 13:11:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2111175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dolphins/pseuds/dolphins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"See anything?" A certain strawberry-blonde man said as he flicked lazily through the channels on the TV, sprawled across the sofa.</p>
<p>"Nope," The dark haired man beside him said, seated not nearly so comfortably, rather almost timidly. As though his back would cause Sue's cushions to dissolve away under him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> New to writing for this wonderful fandom! So I hope this is okay. x

"See anything?" A certain strawberry-blonde man said as he flicked lazily through the channels on the TV, sprawled across the sofa.

"Nope," The dark haired man beside him said, seated not nearly so comfortably, rather almost timidly. As though his back would cause Sue's cushions to dissolve away under him.

The sun was slowly slipping away, leaving whatever light to creep through the curtains to be orange.

Simon stretched out his legs as he stood, eyeing up the sunset.

"I best be off then," he said with a smile.

Kieren leaned over the back of the head-rest, staring up at him with an almost teasing smile, "You don't have to do that," his hand tugged on the long sleeve of Simon's coat.

"I will phone you later," he laughed, sounding almost nervous as he smoothed down his coat.

Kieren raised one suspicious eyebrow and his lips quirked into a smile, "Why don't you stay for a bit longer, eh?"

"No, you know, I've got to be back," his eyes darted around the cosy sitting room, avoiding the other set of eyes as much as possible.

"Why is it you never stay?" 

Simon raised his eyebrows as though the action would buy him a little more time or something.

"Do you turn into a werewolf at the stroke of midnight or something," he said with a laugh. But a little suspicion in the undertone.

A light burst of quiet laughter crept out of Simon's vocal chords, "Of course," 

Kieren's hand remained on his sleeve and even pulled it a bit, "Well I'm used to spooky stuff, come on," 

Simon's breath hitched in his throat as he fought the increasing fear as it rose within him. 

He knew his hands would be sweating if they could.

"Or you could go home, if you don't want to stay," Kieren countered, slumping back into the sofa, moving his eyes back to the TV screen with a look of almost-- rejection.

Something seemed to explode inside Simon's head. Like a bomb filled with atoms designed with only the desire to please Kieren wired inside. 

Their particles exploding in his chest and consuming his entire being. Burning and scratching. Throbbing and pulsating under his skin.

He had to make him feel better. He needed to.

But he couldn't stay. He just couldn't. Because then Kieren would know.

Know how screwed up he was.

Even the thought made his skin crawl, (metaphorically, of course).

But that look on Kieren's face. The sadness. Disappointment. Hurt. It was unacceptable.

(Why did he keep hurting people?)

(Why?)

"Of course I want to," he blurted out, eyes latching onto his face for any glimmer of a positive change.

"Yeah?" Kieren looked at him dubiously.

"If that's okay with you," he added, his eyes wide with desperate hope.

The slight frown folded into a smile. The crease in his forehead gave way to smooth, peace. Even his crumpled eyebrows straightened themselves out.

"I did ask, you dufus,"

Simon let out a shaky laugh. His jittery-ness becoming more and more evident.

"What's up with you tonight?" Kieren tugged him back to sit on the sofa and he obliged.

"Nothin'," he shrugged, distracting himself with the TV.

Kieren snorted, "Mmhm," he swung his long legs around to rest on Simon's lap, returning to lazily flicking through the channels.

Simon glanced at the window again at the exiting sun, waving goodbye to him with a menacing cackle. 

He moved his hands to lay gingerly on Kieren's ankles, nervous fingers playing with the frayed thread on the end of his jeans.

Kieren stopped when the channel returned to the news.

"Two killed when vicious PDS-sufferer lashes out," the voice droned.

A quick glance was shared. 

Kieren changed the channel almost instantly.

 

"It is actually better than it looks," Kieren laughed as he positioned the inflatable bed.

"It's fine, I promise," Simon assured him in that way. The way that would sell water to a drowning man.

"Right, okay then," Kieren said pointlessly. 

They sat on each bed just looking at each other.

Sometimes Simon convinced himself it was a joke or some kind of twisted prank that someone like Kieren could like him. It couldn't be true.

He moved to sit beside Kieren on his bed. Wringing his hands a little. (Where did his charm go?) Cautiously he moved his lips forward, waiting for the other set to seal the deal. But they didn't. Kieren smiled teasingly, waiting expectantly. 

(Thank God he couldn't blush).

He took a tiny breath and met his lips. Pressing gently.

(Perfection).

"Goodnight," Kieren whispered and they both smiled shyly, sloping off to their resting places.

As his hand groped around for the lamp switch, Simon's guts lurched. 

_No. ___

__NO._ _

__"Hang on," his voice came out hasty._ _

__Kieren looked at him curiously._ _

__He wracked his brain for some sort of excuse or reason. Any kind of tactic._ _

__"I really like your paintings," it wasn't a lie or anything, but he had to stall. But how he would stall Kieren until morning was anyone's guess._ _

__"Thanks," he grinned a little, hand on the switch of the lamp._ _

__Anxiety was building inside of Simon and he knew he couldn't hide it for much longer. (Why couldn't he just be normal for once?)_ _

__"Goodnight then,"_ _

__Simon's muscles paralysed with fear as his partially dead body began to react._ _

__His breathing became rapid and each breath was short._ _

__"Si?"_ _

__He couldn't hide it. It was getting worse. Everything was getting worse._ _

__(Why did he feel like he was choking?)_ _

__"Mm, fine," he uttered._ _

__Kieren stretched one hand over the side of the bed and linked their hands together._ _

__Switching off the light and leaving the room in darkness._ _

__Simon knew it might have been a childish fear. The dark, really? What could be so scary about that? But it was terrifying._ _

__Everything bad, that had ever happened to him, had happened in the darkness._ _

__When he had been strung out on drugs so much so he could barely open his eyes-- darkness._ _

__When he had taken that last dose that kicked him overboard-- darkness._ _

__The experiments, the long nights strapped to a metal slab-- darkness._ _

__The seizures, the nightmares, the panic attacks-- darkness._ _

__It wasn't no damn coincidence._ _

__Bad things happened when there was no light._ _

__He lay against the pillow on the inflatable bed and closed his eyes tight. Holding Kieren's hand that little bit tighter._ _

__But his breathing was getting faster and louder. Tiny whimpers were escaping out of his throat as the images poked through his mind._ _

__But they didn't poke. They pushed and assaulted._ _

__"Simon?"_ _

__He couldn't control his breathing or his stomach for that matter and he gagged a bit._ _

__That was it. He couldn't do it. He was weak._ _

__Fighting off the covers, whimpering desperately as they clung to him, he scrambled for the door and threw himself into the bathroom next door._ _

__He switched on the light and locked the door, before leaning against the cold tiles and sliding down them._ _

__(It's okay, everything's okay)._ _

__The light was back. All's good._ _

__A knock sounded on the door and he knew it was Kieren._ _

__"Simon? Everything okay?" he sounded worried._ _

__He was just going have to stay in here all night, until the sun rises once more. He hoped Kieren would go back to bed._ _

__"Si, open up," he pleaded, "Come on,"_ _

__Kieren thought his behaviour was ridiculous, didn't he? He wouldn't want to be with Simon anymore._ _

__A whole new wave of fear hit him and he hugged his knees, his breath shuddering in his chest._ _

__But then a little click came from the door and it creaked open. Kieren had messed with the lock.  
The ginger boy walked into the room and closed the door behind him._ _

__Sympathy, Simon wasn't familiar with that expression. Disgust, sure, dislike, of course, but sympathy?_ _

__"Hey," he said with a softness to his tone, "What's wrong?"_ _

__Simon shook his head, expelling the bad images from his mind, but they wouldn't go no matter how hard he tried._ _

__(Don't speak, don't speak)._ _

__Holding back his want to talk to Kieren, to at least say something, made his eyes prickle. Before he even knew it he was crying._ _

__Like genuinely, properly crying._ _

__He couldn't feel anymore pathetic if he tried. Closing his eyes tightly at the onrush of liquid trickling down his face and wrapping his arms around his chest to protect himself from the sobs escaping his lungs._ _

__"Hey," Kieren wrapped both his arms around the curled up body and held tightly, "Shhh,"_ _

__It was so ridiculous. Why couldn't he stop and pull himself together? Save that tiny slither of dignity._ _

__A weak croak escaped his mouth and he buried his face in Kieren's washing powder-smelling jumper. He felt a hand run back and forth through his hair._ _

__"I don't like it," he whimpered._ _

__"Don't like what?" Kieren said softly, still holding him as though he was the most precious thing on Earth._ _

__(How was that possible?)_ _

__"Being in the dark," he whispered hoarsely, meeting Kieren's eyes for just a second, before he saw the surprise, then he buried his truly embarrassed face deeper into the jumper._ _

__"It's okay," his hand rubbed Simon's back comfortingly, "That's okay,"_ _

__It wasn't okay. It was silly._ _

__(Why wasn't Kieren laughing at his ridiculousness?)_ _

__Confusion clouded his mind._ _

__"Just take a deep breath," Kieren whispered, "Calm down for a minute," his voice was soothing, relaxing._ _

__It took a couple of minutes but Simon's breathing began to settle, replaced with sniffles, the tears stopped flowing and Kieren felt it was safe to pull back a tiny bit to meet his gaze._ _

__"Want to talk?" he whispered, pressing a delicate kiss onto the top of Simon's head._ _

__He shook his head. Not stubbornly or anything, but he just wasn't ready. It was too soon to pop the bubble of his emotions and let them all trickle out in word form. Tonight had been a big enough disaster._ _

__"That's okay, I understand," his hand found Simon's and they locked tightly together._ _

__(A perfect fit)._ _

__"Come and get some sleep," he pryed Simon up off the floor to stand and clutched at his hand._ _

__Fear. It came back so easily. Like it was never really "gone" at all. Always lurking. It must be._ _

__Upon seeing the look splashed on Simon's face, he quickly changed tactics, "I'll leave the lamp on, promise,"_ _

__Simon didn't look one-hundred percent certain, still a little jittery and ill at ease._ _

__"Y-You don't mind?"_ _

__His usual even, assured way of speaking, interupted by little gasping noises his lungs just decided to make._ _

__"I like having the lamp on too sometimes," he smiled reassuringly, rubbing his thumb over Simon's hand as he led him back into the next room._ _

__Simon watched him as he crawled back into bed, still keeping their hands intertwined as Simon lay in the inflatable one beside it._ _

__He stared at him over the gentle light of the lamp._ _

__(How is he worthy of this kind of love?)._ _

__(Surely this isn't real)._ _

__But it was real._ _

__He knew that tomorrow they would probably need to talk. Kieren would want to understand what had happened, and maybe, just maybe, Simon wanted to get it all off his chest._ _

__The darkness may have won tonight._ _

__But maybe, with Kieren on his side, it wouldn't win tomorrow._ _

**Author's Note:**

> How was it?  
> Drop me a comment! x


End file.
